9 11 Gemis

I remeber
Watching TV with my dad.
Mom was in the kitchen making coffee
The movie Dad and I were watching changed to a news bulliten
We thought it was part of the movie
So we sat there that night watching
Watching the smoke
And then the second plane going into the towers
I vividly remember the bird infront of the camera the was the main view
and yelling out to Mom that something was happening
Then we sat there as a family not saying anything watching the towers burn and fall
Like part of a movie
But it was real life
Feeling compassion and saddness for our fellow beings

Igg

I want your trees to die
Your land to not let anything grow
I want the cafe to be on fire
Your restaurant to fail
I want our dog to run away from you
I want you to get a disease
I want you to get even fatter
Your motorbike to be stolen
Your car to blow up
I want your brother to be in jail
I want you to hurt
And cry
And be sad
And wonder why
I want you to be lonely
And to feel what I feel
I want all of this
But I don't
All I really want
Is for you to love me
And miss me a little bit

Because I love you with my soul
And I miss you so much

Do you

Sometimes i wonder if it would be good to start over

You know, just to start every thing all over again. To live life from the begining and see where it goes?

Then I wonder if anyone else feels this way

Sometimes I feel so alone. I have my girl Cat but she doesnt need my problems.
Iggy has been ignoring me. Not answering his phone, not returning my calls, not answering my emails, not replying to messages. Just tried to call him and his number said it has no service anymore

Does anyone else think that this could be it? It could be all there is

If there is an after life would I live it out with my friends and family?

Or will i just be dead

Or is there reencarnation where i come back as something else and live a new life

I dont know

Sometimes its just too hard to think and you want to sit in the dark corner and cry

So fast, So slow (part 1)

I plan to write a few of these. It may take a while but I need to write it down.

In a few days it will be a month.
At 10:30am on the 9th it will be a month since it happened.
At around 11:15am it will be a month since I heard her say to me on the phone:

"My parents are dead. Both of my parents are dead"

The morning my best forever friends life fell. The person that told me that is my girl, my Cat. Both of her parents and uncle died in a car crash that morning. It has almost been a month

Maybe

Wants and Needs

Materialistic things I want:

~ An Amazon Kindle. The new one. But I want it to be able to work all over, not just in the States since I travel.

~ Ugg brand Ugg boots. They are the best Uggies man. So comfy and warm. I have a pink pair but left them at my other home.

~ Tiramisu cake. But before that I want to feat on Argentinian Beef. And salad.

~ A Harp. Really want to learn to play the Harp. Would be an awesome thing to say to people "I'm a musician, I play the Harp"

~ A glass of wine.

Non Materialistic Things I want:

~I want to be able to fall asleep holding my mans hand and to wake up next to him in the morning. Everyday. I want both of us to die of old age together at the same time. I want our lives to be full of happiness, nature, peace, lots of babies and above all else LOVE.I want to be in the same room as him.I want to be in the same house as him.I want to be in the same city as him.I want to be in the same State as him.I want to be in the same Country as him.I want to be in the same Continent as him.

~ I want my Mom to realise that she is beautiful. In turn I want her to allow us to take photos of her. I like photos. I like my Mom. I think she is beautiful.

~ I want all the wars to stop. They are just plain stupid.

~ I really want to open a letter from the Air Force with them offering me the position that I want.

~ I want my Dad to never die. He is the best man I know. Iggy is a very close second. I don't know what I would do without my Dad here.

~ I want my girls to be strong and follow their dreams. Not to compromise with the partners. Be secure to do things because they can do anything.

~ I want my dog. She is with her Daddy. I miss cuddling in bed with her in the mornings while Iggy is in the shower.

Needs:

~ I need to get super fit and healthy.

~ I need new layers cut into my hair and re-coloured.

~ I need to stop smoking cigarettes.

~ I need help with studying and support.

~ I need a cuddle.

~ I need to finish Pearls birthday presents

My eyes are open, Aune

P.S. I got this idea from reading Pastor Ryans blog. If I knew how to link it I would. Someone else, Emily, did this before me on her blog, again if I knew how to link I would, which influenced me to do it on mine!

Retentive

The Andes Mountain Range. December 2006. Copyright Aune. Do not touch!

My friends have started telling me that I'm Anal.

Last night, my darling man said it as well.

I asked if they meant in the good way. They said no. They mean in the crazy way.

:-) I'm not crazy. But I guess I cant say to randoms that I'm anal. They might get the wrong impression.

Feeling lonely.

Studied for 5 hours last night/this morning. Got all upset. Called Iggy. Then studied a bit more.

Was gonna do something with my Best Pearl, but the love is busy with the boyfriend.

Working on her birthday presents. Might do more now since I am so utterly bored and have been talking to myself for the past like 6 hours.

Crazy!... Wait no... Anal!

My eyes are open,

Aune